When I entered the place, I was afraid. Very afraid that all those memories would come rushing back to me, and that I would shed a tear or two. And so I told myself, "You will be fine. You will walk out of here fine."
Once I stepped my foot in, I set out to look for the meatballs and fruit juice we once used to share when we came. As I walked on, with my friends beside me, I saw other food that I like. I bought some, walked on, bought more and walked on. All the while, I was looking out for that two favourite stalls of ours from time to time.
And before I knew it, I was already at the end of the night market. And I didn't find the two stalls that we so loved.
It was then that I realized...
Life goes on.
People change.
What used to matter a lot, might not matter anymore.
This conscious mind of mine might have wanted to deliberately look for the stalls, but the truth is, while walking along the street, I found other food I enjoyed & items that attracted me. And that the food we used to share, didn't seem to hold any meaning for me now. I somehow unconsciously pushed them to the least important part of my priority list today.
Just like what Jo said, I felt that some things might have looked beautiful to me once a long time ago. But then again, I might have moved on so far from it that I don't even know that such things don't make me upset or regretful anymore.
Today, I walked out of the place, not traumatized.... But liberated.
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